Offended???

 And if your brother offend you, you shall take him between him and you alone, and if he confess, you shall be reconciled. And if he confess not, you shall take another with you, and then if he confess not, you shall deliver him up unto the church, not to the members, but to the elders. And it shall be done in a meeting and that not before the world. And if your brother offend many, he shall be chastened before many. And if anyone offend openly, he shall be rebuked openly that he may be ashamed. And if he confess not, he shall be delivered up unto the Law. If any shall offend in secret, he shall be rebuked in secret, that he may have opportunity to confess in secret to him whom he has offended and to God, that the brethren may not speak reproachfully of him. And thus shall you conduct in all things. T&C 27:5

Questions: 

• Who is responsible to take the initiative when offense is taken? The offender? Or the offended? 

• Reading a verse in context is helpful. Before teaching us how to reconcile an offense, the Lord identifies four offenses. T&C 27:2-4

• Killing . . . Every person who belongs to this church of Christ shall observe all the commandments and covenants of the church. And it shall come to pass that if any person among you shall kill, they shall be delivered up and dealt with according to the laws of the land, for remember that he has no forgiveness, and it shall be proven according to the laws of the land.

• Adultery . . . But if any man shall commit adultery, he shall be tried before two elders of the church, or more, and every word shall be established against him by two witnesses of the church and not of the world; but if there are more than two witnesses, it is better. But he shall be condemned by the mouth of two witnesses. And the elders shall lay the case before the church and the church shall lift up their hands against them, that they may be dealt with according to the Law. And if it can be, it is necessary that the bishop is present also. And thus you shall do in all cases which shall come before you.

• Robbing . . . And if a man shall rob, he shall be delivered up unto the Law. And if he shall steal, he shall be delivered up unto the Law.

•  Lying . . . And if he lie, he shall be delivered up unto the Law. If he do any manner of iniquity, he shall be delivered up unto the Law, even that of God.

• On August 8, 2022, the Lord gave a response to an inquiry about forgiveness. The original question was about forgiving the adulterer, but the Lord gave additional instructions beyond the scope of the question. It is interesting that the Lord brings attention to these same four offenses.

• . . . You shall not forgive the adulterer and welcome him into the community when he has been forgiven and returns again to his sin. You shall not place the community at peril by embracing the willful and unrepentant among you. . . How can you be one if you gather together with another who has been the adulterer again after being forgiven? And how can a man love his wife with all his heart and cleave unto her and none else if he commit adultery again after being forgiven? 

• You did not ask, but remember that I have said also that, You shall not kill, and he that kills shall not have forgiveness, neither in this world nor in the world to come. And again, you shall not kill; he that kills shall die. 

• You shall not steal, and he that steals and will not repent shall be cast out. 

• You shall not lie; he that lies and will not repent shall be cast out. How can you be one with he who murders, with the liar who deceives, and with the thief who steals? I say to you that you cannot be one when you are fractured and your little ones threatened by the disobedience of the adulterer, murderer, liar and thief who will not repent.

• People are offended for some of the following reasons:

• They have unhealed emotional or psychological issues related to past experiences.

• They perceive that their honor, personal or ideological beliefs, or public image are being threatened.

• They are self-conscious about something. 

• They don’t receive the validation they are seeking from others. 

• Being offended makes insecure people feel empowered, and it allows them to make others feel guilty. 

• People who are easily offended are self-centered and self focused. They are on high alert for anything that threatens their self image.

But are these reasons to approach the offender with grievances? Or are these internal issues that the offended needs to address? In scriptural language, “first cast out the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye.” 3 Nephi 6:6

Being offended is a protective mechanism that guards the offended against facing reality. When they think you’ve offended them, they seem to step into a position of power and have no interest in reasoning with you, and they shut down any conducive conversation. 

• What offenses warrant the process the Lord describes in T&C 27:5? Any offense? Or legitimate offenses not based on insecurities or personal issues? The Lord instructs you what to do when you have been offended by your brother.

• You shall take him between him and you alone, and if he confesses, you shall be reconciled.

• And if he confesses not, you shall take another with you.

• Then if he confess not, you shall deliver him up unto the church, not to the members, but to the elders.*

• And if he confess not, he shall be delivered up unto the Law.

*[In Joseph Smith’s day, offenses that were not reconciled privately, were brought before the elders. In our day, unreconciled offenses against priesthood holders are brought before a council of 12 women.]

• What is the value of an open public rebuke?  “And if your brother offend many, he shall be chastened before many. And if anyone offend openly, he shall be rebuked openly that he may be ashamed.” 

• What is the harm in making private offenses public? “If any shall offend in secret, he shall be rebuked in secret, that he may have opportunity to confess in secret to him whom he has offended and to God, that the brethren may not speak reproachfully of him.”

If we find we are offended, it would be wise to look at the reasons for the offense, and resolve it following the instructions given by the Lord.

The Great Competition

Written by Denver Snuffer, Illustrated by Emily Willis

This short tale is a parable about the Judeo-Christian expectation that life has meaning, God is in control, life is important, we are free to choose, and there is a plan unfolding designed by God to let us choose the path we follow. This story focuses on whether we actually trust God or not. Like all parables, meditating and reflecting on the story will let the reader see deeper into the meanings. Now available on Amazon. 

Shackled . . . Son of a . . .

Committed to marriage? Committed to children?

Apologies

I’ve often wondered why apologies are requested. I’ve heard it said many times in many different circumstances, “You need to apologize!” I’m thinking that requesting apologies might be a learned behavior. After a disagreement, I’ve heard some adults say to children, “Now, say you’re sorry.” So, whether the children are sorry or not, they say they are sorry and move on with their day. What is the purpose of these feigned apologies?

I think it is better to model an apology to children rather than demand an apology when adults think children have misbehaved. As a parent, I make enough mistakes to have plenty of opportunities to sincerely apologize to my children for my poor behavior. I have found they also apologize for their poor behavior when they feel they have misbehaved. This is not requested by anyone, but they apologize when their conscience requires it. 

Apology - a regretful acknowledgment of an offense or failure.

Why would someone apologize for something they did on purpose for good reason, and they would do it again under the same circumstances? I can understand why someone would want to apologize for something they regret, but why apologize when there is no regret? If someone chooses to be angry or offended and demands an apology, should the other person apologize to appease them? How would this help?

There are many examples of when apologies have been demanded or expected but denied. There are also numerous examples of what true regret and repentance look like. Here are a few . . .

Apology Denied

Abinadi 

”And it came to pass that the king caused that his guards should surround Abinadi and take him; and they bound him and cast him into prison. And after three days, having counseled with his priests, he caused that he should again be brought before him. And he said unto him, Abinadi, we have found an accusation against thee, and thou art worthy of death. For thou hast said that God himself should come down among the children of men. And now for this cause thou shalt be put to death, unless thou wilt recall all the words which thou hast spoken evil concerning me and my people.

Now Abinadi said unto him, I say unto you, I will not recall the words which I have spoken unto you concerning this people, for they are true. And that ye may know of their surety, I have suffered myself that I have fallen into your hands, yea, and I will suffer even until death. And I will not recall my words, and they shall stand as a testimony against you. And if ye slay me, ye will shed innocent blood; and this shall also stand as a testimony against you at the last day.” [emphasis added] Mosiah 9:2-3

Nephi

And now it came to pass that after I, Nephi, had made an end of speaking to my brethren, behold, they said unto me, Thou hast declared unto us hard things, more than which we are able to bear. And it came to pass that I said unto them that I knew that I had spoken hard things against the wicked according to the truth, and the righteous have I justified and testified that they should be lifted up at the last day. Wherefore, the guilty taketh the truth to be hard, for it cutteth them to the very center. And now my brethren, if ye were righteous and were willing to hearken to the truth and give heed unto it, that ye might walk uprightly before God, then ye would not murmur because of the truth and say, Thou speakest hard things against us. And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did exhort my brethren with all diligence to keep the commandments of the Lord. And it came to pass that they did humble themselves before the Lord, insomuch that I had joy and great hopes of them, that they would walk in the paths of righteousness. Now all these things were said and done as my father dwelt in a tent in the valley which he called Lemuel. 1 Nephi 5:1

Jesus

And it came to pass on a certain day, as he was teaching, that there were Pharisees and doctors of the law sitting by, who had come out of every town of Galilee, and Judea, and Jerusalem. And the power of the Lord was present to heal them. And behold, men brought in a bed a man who was taken with a palsy, and they sought to bring him in and to lay him before Jesus. And when they found that they could not bring him in for the multitude, they went upon the housetop and let him down through the tiling, with his couch, into the midst before Jesus. Now he saw their faith and said unto the man, Your sins are forgiven you. And the scribes and Pharisees began to reason, saying, Who is this that speaks blasphemies? Who can forgive sins but God alone? But Jesus perceived their thoughts, and he said unto them, What do you reason in your hearts? Does it require more power to forgive sins than to make the sick rise up and walk? But that you may know that the Son of Man has power upon earth to forgive sins, I said it. And he said unto the man sick of the palsy, I say unto you, Arise, and take up your couch, and go into your house. And immediately he arose up before them, and took up that on which he lay, and departed to his own house, glorifying God. And they were all amazed, and they glorified God, and were filled with fear, saying, We have seen strange things today. Luke 4:11

Joseph Smith

Some few days after I had this vision, I happened to be in company with one of the Methodist preachers . . .  I took occasion to give him an account of the vision which I had had. I was greatly surprised at his behavior. He treated my communication not only lightly, but with great contempt, saying it was all of the Devil, that there was no such thing as visions or revelations in these days, that all such things had ceased with the apostles and that there never would be any more of them. I soon found, however, that my telling the story had excited a great deal of prejudice against me among professors of religion, and was the cause of great persecution which continued to increase. . .  But strange or not, so it was, and was often cause of great sorrow to myself. However, it was nevertheless a fact that I had had a vision. I have thought since that I felt much like Paul when he made his defense before king Agrippa and related the account of the vision he had when he saw a light and heard a voice, but still there were but few who believed him. Some said he was dishonest, others said he was mad, and he was ridiculed and reviled, but all this did not destroy the reality of his vision. He had seen a vision, he knew he had, and all the persecution under Heaven could not make it otherwise. And though they should persecute him unto death, yet he knew and would know to his latest breath that he had both seen a light and heard a voice speaking unto him, and all the world could not make him think or believe otherwise. So it was with me: I had actually seen a light, and in the midst of that light I saw two personages, and they did in reality speak unto me, or one of them did. And though I was hated and persecuted for saying that I had seen a vision, yet it was true. And while they were persecuting me, reviling me, and speaking all manner of evil against me falsely for so saying, I was led to say in my heart, Why persecute for telling the truth? I have actually seen a vision, and who am I that I can withstand God? Or why does the world think to make me deny what I have actually seen? For I had seen a vision, I knew it, and I knew that God knew it. And I could not deny it, neither dare I do it, at least I knew that by so doing I would offend God and come under condemnation.   JSH Section 1, Part 2 (1820-1823):9

Denver Snuffer 

Compliance (So Far As Possible)

The problem with Passing the Heavenly Gift has not been its accuracy. The issue raised in the notice I received from the stake president does not say the book is false, contains errors or makes mistakes in history. Rather, it “contains content which must be withdrawn.” That is not an indictment of the book’s accuracy. It is considered subversive by those who want to control history to perpetuate a view of events that do not follow the pattern described by the Book of Mormon prophets, Joseph Smith’s prophecies, and Christ’s description of the conduct of the latter-day gentiles to whom the Book of Mormon would be given.

The first demand is that I cease publication; a task that would involve violation of agreements between me and others. To compensate me for that potential liability and permit me to violate the agreement, I was offered money to cease publication. Offering money to help me violate agreements is not a satisfactory course of conduct. Therefore, I declined; but not before asking those with whom I have contracts if I could be let out of the publishing agreement.

The second demand is that I tell blog readers that the book “contains content that needs to be withdrawn.” I will say this: The church believes very much the content of the book needs to be withdrawn. . . Therefore, to make what concessions I can, I will state for all you blog readers: Passing the Heavenly Gift contains content that will make your appreciation and acceptance of the efforts of the institution now and in the future to bend its teachings to conform to social, political and legal trends much more difficult to achieve. You will be happier if you don’t read the book. You will be more inclined to sleepwalk along with what is progressively distant from the original restoration. You will not detect that these changes mark the downfall predicted in the prophecies of the Book of Mormon and Doctrine & Covenants. While I cannot withdraw the content, you should not read it if it will upset your worldview.

True Regret, Confession, and Repentance

Alma and Sons of Mosiah

Now the sons of Mosiah were numbered among the unbelievers; and also one of the sons of Alma was numbered among them, he being called Alma after his father. Nevertheless, he became a very wicked and an idolatrous man; and he was a man of many words and did speak much flattery to the people. . . while he was going about to destroy the church of God . . the angel of the Lord appeared unto them, and he descended as it were in a cloud. And he spake as it were with a voice of thunder, which caused the earth to shake upon which they stood . . . Alma, arise and stand forth! For why persecuteth thou the church of God? . . .  Behold, the Lord hath heard the prayers of his people, and also the prayers of his servant Alma, who is thy father. . .  I come, to convince thee of the power and authority of God, that the prayers of his servants might be answered according to their faith. . . Therefore he was taken by those that were with him, and carried helpless, even until he was laid before his father. . . And it came to pass, after they had fasted and prayed for the space of two days and two nights, the limbs of Alma received their strength. And he stood up and began to speak unto them, bidding them to be of good comfort. For, said he, I have repented of my sins and have been redeemed of the Lord. Behold, I am born of the spirit. . . And now it came to pass that Alma began from this time forward to teach the people, and those who were with Alma at the time the angel appeared unto them: traveling round about through all the land, publishing to all the people the things which they had heard and seen, and preaching the word of God in much tribulation, being greatly persecuted by those who were unbelievers, being smitten by many of them. But notwithstanding all this, they did impart much consolation to the church, confirming their faith, and exhorting them with long-suffering and much travail to keep the commandments of God. . . they traveled throughout all the land of Zarahemla, and among all the people who were under the reign of king Mosiah, zealously striving to repair all the injuries which they had done to the church, confessing all their sins, and publishing all the things which they had seen, and explaining the prophecies and the scriptures to all who desired to hear them. And thus they were instruments in the hands of God in bringing many to the knowledge of the truth, yea, to the knowledge of their Redeemer. And how blessed are they, for they did publish peace; they did publish good tidings of good, and they did declare unto the people that the Lord reigneth. Mosiah 11:25-29

People of Ammon

. . . Now there was not one soul among all the people who had been converted unto the Lord that would take up arms against their brethren . . . I thank my great God . . . we have been convinced of our sins and of the many murders which we have committed. And I also thank my God, yea, my great God, that he hath granted unto us that we might repent of these things, and also that he hath forgiven us of these our many sins and murders which we have committed, and took away the guilt from our hearts, through the merits of his Son . . .  for it was all we could do to repent sufficiently before God that he would take away our stains . . .  let us retain our swords, that they be not stained with the blood of our brethren . . . And now it came to pass that when the king had made an end of these sayings, and all the people were assembled together, they took their swords and all the weapons which were used for the shedding of man’s blood, and they did bury them up deep in the earth. And this they did, it being in their view a testimony to God, and also to men, that they never would use weapons again for the shedding of man’s blood. And this they did vouching and covenanting with God, that rather than shed the blood of their brethren, they would give up their own lives; and rather than take away from a brother. . . the Lamanites made preparations for war and came up to the land of Nephi for the purpose of . . . destroying the people . . . when the people saw that they were coming against them, they went out to meet them and prostrated themselves before them to the earth, and began to call on the name of the Lord; and thus they were in this attitude when the Lamanites began to fall upon them and began to slay them with the sword. . . Alma 14

Saul/Paul

And it came to pass that as I made my journey, and had come near unto Damascus about noon, suddenly there shone from Heaven a great light round about me. And I fell unto the ground and heard a voice saying unto me, Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me? And I answered, Who are you, Lord? And he said unto me, I am Jesus of Nazareth, whom you persecute. And they that were with me saw indeed the light and were afraid, but they heard not the voice of him that spoke to me. And I said, What shall I do, Lord? And the Lord said unto me, Arise and go into Damascus, and there it shall be told you of all things which are appointed for you to do. And when I could not see for the glory of that light, being led by the hand of them that were with me, I came into Damascus. Act 12:15

. . . But watch yourself in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of your ministry; for I am now about to be offered and the time of my departure is at hand. I have fought a good fight. I have finished my course. I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day — and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing. 2 Timothy 1:10

A Nefarious Demon aka Paco

Last year, we watched Nefarious as a family. It was a great way to teach our teenagers and young adults what they are up against [parental discretion advised].

We are surrounded by demons and devils that seek to destroy us. Much of what Jesus did and does is to cast out devils. 

Naming the Devil

Several years ago, my niece and I were talking about the devil and how he takes himself way too seriously. Good natured humor is good medicine. Learning to laugh at ourselves can be very healing.  

Names are important in giving power, and so we decided to give the devil a new name. We had fun naming this humorless fellow. . . We ended up naming him Paco. He hates the name. I think he was listening to our fun and play because I soon heard in my mind, “My name is NOT PACO!!! It's SATAN!!!” 

I responded, “Okay Paco;)” 

I had the distinct impression Paco was disgusted with us. But he doesn’t have a choice about that, does he? Ya know, come to think of it, I don’t like what he does either. He doesn’t seem too eager to benefit and bless me, so why should I be eager to respond favorably to his demands and complaints? 

Conversations with Paco

Yes, I have conversations with Paco. Not because I particularly like those conversations, but because he just shows up and starts yapping. 

What is the point to all this chaos and commotion? I don’t know. Nothing intelligent ever comes out of Paco’s screaming, yelling, and criticizing. It is just a bunch of noise. 

In contrast, when the Lord calls me to repentance, His chastisement is always intelligent. I know exactly what I did wrong, and what I need to do differently. It makes sense. I think about the Brother of Jared being chastised by the Lord for three hours. He knew exactly what he needed to change and immediately got to work. The Lord corrects and redirects. His message is informative and enlightening even when it cuts me to the center. 

So when I hear noise noise noise . . . name calling, screaming, yelling, fear mongering, scolding, temper tantrums . . . I turn to that voice and say, “Do you have anything intelligent to say? Or are you just going to yap and yell and throw a fit?” When Paco stutters and stammers, I nod my head and say, “That’s what I thought. Nothing intelligent, so be on your way!” 

I’m really not interested in giving heed to the rebukes of Paco. He doesn’t have my best interest in mind. 

Anger, a TellTale Sign

When I find myself angry, triggered, and in turmoil, I see it as a sign that I must repent of something even if I don’t know what it is. When I ask Jesus to show me my error, I have 100% confidence He will reveal my sin in a way I can understand. He doesn't want me to mourn, but wants me to understand my error, so I can repent. 

Those who become angry at the truth have “the spirit of the devil” in them. That is, they are under the devil’s influence and are deceived. Nephi understood this principle because of his older brothers’ reactions (see 1 Nephi 5:1). When someone becomes angry at the truth, they are in darkness. Christ gave this as one of the signs of the deceived. They argue against the truth and become angry (see 3 Nephi 5:8). Those who are Christ’s, however, join with Nephi in glorying in plainness, even if it cuts or requires repentance. They appreciate the plain direction which allows them to follow in the true path. They appreciate truth, even when it condemns their acts and requires them to change. They glory in Christ, preferring Him over unbelief, traditions of men, or the arm of flesh. Anger - Glossary of Terms

Repentance sets me free.

A Monster, A Dangerous Man

The Hero Has to Be a Monster

Part of spiritual development is to recognize the Satanic tendencies that characterize you and to fully wrestle with them and to integrate them. That's the thing. It's not so much to cast them away. It's to transmute them. And you can see the difference between people who've done that and people who haven't, at least to some degree, because people who haven't integrated the shadow at all are naive. . . [See Video Below]
 

A Good Man is a Dangerous Man

A harmless man is not a good man. A good man is a very very dangerous man, who has that voluntarily under control . . . [See Video Below]

Governing Ourselves, Part 2.5 [Anonymous Bishop Blog]

On January 26, 2024, I began a private conversation with my friend Aaron Bishop about his involvement in a recent women’s council. It appears he would rather discuss his issues with me in public on his Anonymous Bishop blog, so I will answer his concerns in public. As Aaron advocates, I hope this post will help hold my friends accountable. 

When witnesses (friends, brothers, sisters, spouses, children) try to sustain us by making us aware of a personal failure that may be disrupting the peace of the community, thus causing harm and contention, it would be a shame if we disregarded the courage of those witnesses and refused to be humble enough to repent. 

The result of that unwillingness to repent, and the result of not agreeing upon “first principles” and the law of witnesses, to hold each other accountable, will obviously be a source for jarrings and contentions and strifes and violence. Anonymous Bishop Governing Ourselves Part 1

I will give context to the situation according to my understanding. In January 2024 a women’s council was called because women had concerns about a man’s behavior. If you are not already familiar with the women’s role and responsibilities in the priesthood as revealed by the Lord, refer to our February 2, 2024 post.

I do not have an issue with women calling a conference when a man’s worthiness to function in the priesthood is called into question. Here are the concerns I have with this January 2024 conference:

• The women voted (majority rule) to keep their names hidden from the man being called into question.

• The man requested to come to the conference that was called on his behalf, but was not allowed. 

• The names and testimonies of witnesses were kept hidden from the man. At this point, he still does not know what was witnessed against him.

• Some of the women on the council were acquainted with the man, but the conference was not held in the man’s home fellowship or in private at a general conference.

• The man was not allowed to call witnesses to speak on his behalf.

• The man was not allowed to speak at the conference but only to respond in writing to questions posed by the organizers. Because the man was not present, the rest of the women on the council were not allowed to ask the man additional questions.

• It is unclear whether the man’s response to the accusations were read during the conference.

• During the conference, additional accusations were made against the man, and he was given no opportunity to respond to these additional charges. 

• Women on the council, who spoke in opposition to the process being used by the organizers, were kicked off the women’s council until they profusely apologized for speaking against the organizers’ process. Once the women have been called to participate, I do not believe it is appropriate to remove women from the council because they have a different opinion than the organizers. There is a reason the vote is to be unanimous.

In the comment below, I believe Aaron is speaking about me not being respectful of the process of this council. Yet his comments seem to be directed toward the man who was on trial.

Anonymous Bishop Blog - Governing Ourselves, Part 2 . . . Apparently Cowdery was presented with the final charges against him 3 days before the council convened and was only able to write a letter in response that was read by Edward Partridge. His letter is very interesting and although the charges led to his excommunication, in this letter he too is seemingly respectful of the council process. At least in this letter he doesn’t make threatening and slanderous statements, calling witnesses cowards and mocking and taunting the members of the Council. One of the charges however is that he had in fact wrote an insulting letter to council member Thomas Marsh previously in response to the court being held for him. The letter included insults to the whole council and became evidence against Cowdery and one of the grounds for his excommunication. Here’s Cowdery’s non-insulting letter and his defense for charges against him. . .

I was concerned when I became aware of how the organizers of this conference were disregarding the instructions of the Lord. Three days prior to the conference, I contacted the conference organizers. “Organizer #1” was not willing to take a call from me until the conference was over. I talked to “Organizer #2” on the phone, and she was persuaded by my comments.

Aaron seems to be saying that Cowdery is more virtuous than the man on trial (January 2024) because the 2024 man sent, “threatening and slanderous statements, calling witnesses cowards and mocking and taunting the members of the Council.”  I think Aaron is giving credit to the man for the message I sent to three women on the council. Here’s the message:

[Organizer #1], since you have no time to talk to me until after the women's council is over, I will text you the same message I gave to [Organizer #2]. I will also text [woman on council] this message. If there are other women on the council, in addition to the three of you, please share this message with them.

You cannot have a women's council of 3 women [three women mentioned above]. You have to have 12 women. There is no legitimacy to Phantom women. And if you decide to revoke [the man’s] certificate, all of the women on the council will need to sign some type of certificate representing the outcome of the council. There is no reason to meet unless the women are willing to make their identities known.

It takes courage to be on one of these councils. I realize it is a difficult assignment. That doesn't excuse you and give you permission to remain anonymous.

I do not have an issue with you, calling a council for [the man]. But we do not have secret councils, and hide our identities from the man who is being called into question. You have an obligation to tell him who is on the council. If I were [the man], I would not respond until a council of 12 women with real names comes forth with questions.

Aaron, if you are willing, it might be wise to talk about our differences in private. I agree with you. We are no different than those who also sought to follow God but failed. It looks like we have chosen to put our own foolishness on display.

***When making comments, please use your real name. We get to own our words. Anonymous comments from unknown people will not be posted.***