Gossip vs. Transparency

 Most people need a listening ear as they work through the struggles of life.

Sometimes, being with your best friend is all the therapy you need.  - unknown

You might need someone to talk to about your dilemmas. And those conversations will often include your interactions with those who trouble you. Choose your friends wisely. 

A true friend accepts who you are, but also helps you become who you should be.  - unknown

Is your friend someone who helps you improve and progress? Do they help you see and correct your errors? Or does this “friend” help vilify and “horribilize” those with whom you clash? 

Seek out friends who help you see your part, discover what you can do, understand how you can respond, and help you keep your peace. 

If you need to process your thoughts and feelings by talking to a friend, avoid those who gossip.

Those who gossip with you will gossip about you. - Edgar Allan Poe

A friendship built on gossip will end on gossip. - Our Mindful Life

Gossip dies when it hits a wise person’s ears. - unknown

How do we create an atmosphere where gossip is not welcome or comfortable? What if those who speak to us about others, know we are going to follow up and let the other person know what was said about them? Would they be less likely to share gossip again? Would they be more likely to talk to the person directly? Or would they just find someone else who makes it comfortable to gossip?

Don’t tell me what was said about me . . . Tell me why they were so comfortable to say it to you. - Jay-Z

What happens when we investigate claims made about others by seeking to understand the other side of the story? Is it wise to ask questions and get answers from all involved? 

A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talked to each other instead of talking about each other. - Tiny Buddha

I know this will seem a bit crazy, but if you want to know something about me, the best person to ask is me. - James America

Those who are sincere will not be offended when the situation is laid out on the table for those involved to see, even if it becomes apparent they are wrong in their understanding. With gratitude, they will welcome the reconciliation that comes as a result of direct communication. 

On the other hand, those who are in the habit of gossiping are offended when others seek to verify their words. Those who seek to malign and slander others hate this kind of transparency. 

          

Make it a habit of shutting down conversations that aim to tear others down. - unknown