On
April 26, 2016, I received this message from one of my friends. “On
Sunday we are going to talk about fear and then tie it back in with
the concept of love taught last week. Come prepared to share any
insights you have regarding fear.”
I had
been struggling with the pain of my mistakes that week. I felt like
running away, crying, and giving up. I don't like causing pain for
anyone, yet I seem to do things I regret. When asked to think about
fear, I realized I am afraid of my mistakes. I do everything I can
to avoid making mistakes, yet my mistakes keep rolling forth as I
live life.
These
lessons on love and fear came at a perfect time in my life. The
Monday after our Sunday discussion, I kept hearing the Lord say, “Who
gave you your weakness?” A scripture came to mind, but I had to
look it up to make sure I was remembering it correctly.
“And
if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto
men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for
all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble
themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak
things become strong unto them.” Ether 12:27
There
it is! God gave me my weakness. So, if God gave me my weakness, it must be a gift.
An
picture came to mind. I saw a new baby, born into the world in
weakness. At first, the baby is helpless. This baby is meant to run
someday, but today she just sleeps without much movement. If I were
to judge the baby in her weakness, I would think she is lazy,
useless, and unambitious. I would say things like, “Why don't you
get up? Is that all you're going to do? You're meant to run not just
lie around.” Still the baby sleeps.
Months
pass and the baby starts kicking her legs. In my judgment I might
say things like, “Do you think that's going to do you any good?
What use is it to kick your legs? You're not going to go very far
doing that.”
Time
passes and the baby begins to roll and crawl. Continuing in judgment,
I could say, “You might be getting around, but that's a dirty way
to do it. It would be so much easier if you walked on your feet
instead of rolling in the dirt.”
The
baby continues to develop and begins to use furniture and walls to
pull herself to her feet. In my ignorance, I accuse the baby,
“You're cheating. When you walk you're suppose to do it on your
own. Using props is the way of a cheater.”
The
baby takes a few steps and does not make an attempt for weeks. I
say, “Is that all you're going to do? Get up! Don't be a quitter.”
Between
the ages of 6-18 months almost all babies learn to walk. As a mother
of 11 children, I've seen this process over and over. It would seem
foolish to judge my babies in such a way. Born in weakness, they've
all learned to walk and run.
After
seeing these images of a baby developing, I heard God say, “Now,
apply what you've learned about a baby's development to every other
weakness you see in yourself and others: addictions (drug, alcohol,
pornography, etc.), gossip, backbiting, judging, lying, idolatry,
laziness, hypocrisy, obesity, pride, procrastination, perfectionism,
dishonesty, thieving, anger, lust, and the list goes on and on.”
A wise
and loving God sees all the stages in the development of man. In our
ignorance, we judge wrongfully. If I were to label the baby as a
non-walker because he is lying on the bed, only kicking his legs,
rolling around the floor, or using furniture to assist him, I would
do so foolishly.
If God
gave me my weakness, how can it be sin to be weak? How can it be sin
to learn, grow, and develop? I then asked the Lord, “If acting in
my weakness is not sin, then what is sin?” Another scripture came
to mind.
“Master,
which is the great commandment in the law?”
“Jesus
said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart,
and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and
great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love
thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law
and the prophets.” Matthew 22:36-40
There
really are only two commandments, and the second one includes loving
ourselves. Love God, love others, and love yourself. Love of self
is included because often people have the hardest time forgiving and
loving themselves. This is not arrogance but peace that comes in
being reconciled with God.
Our
weakness and struggle are given to teach us to love God, others, and
self. Sin isn't in the "mistakes" we make but in the love
we lack. My weakness is given to me to bring me to my knees and
encourage me to develop a relationship with God. It also teaches me
to have compassion on myself and others.
We
still feel the consequences of our weakness just as a baby feels the
effects of gravity as she learns to walk. She still bumps and
bruises her head, falls down, and scrapes her knee. She is helpless
and not capable of taking care of herself. She struggles against
gravity as she learns to walk.
So it
is with all of our weakness, we feel the consequences and pain of our
weakness, but it is a gift from God, given for our growth and
development.
You've
heard it said, “What you resist, persists.” I have been resisting
my weakness and have been viewing it as a “bad thing”. I have
been resisting my gift from God. I have not received ALL of God's
gifts with gratitude.
“Giving
thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of
our Lord Jesus Christ;” Ephesians 5:20
“For
what doth it profit a man if a gift is bestowed upon him, and he
receive not the gift? Behold, he rejoices not in that which is given
unto him, neither rejoices in him who is the giver of the gift.”
D&C 88:33
In my
weakness, I judge others and am prone to perfectionism. I see where
many times I play the part of the Pharisee.
Throughout
the New Testament I see the Lord showing compassion on “sinners”
while the Pharisees received His greatest rebuke. Why? Do the
religious see righteousness as a list of dos and don'ts? Can they
even see their weakness?
“And
the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery;
and when they had set her in the midst, They say unto him, Master,
this woman was taken in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses in the
law commanded us, that such should be stoned: but what sayest thou?
“This
they said, tempting him, that they might have to accuse him. But
Jesus stooped down, and with his finger wrote on the ground, as
though he heard them not. So when they continued asking him, he
lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among
you, let him first cast a stone at her. And again he stooped down,
and wrote on the ground. And they which heard it, being convicted by
their own conscience, went out one by one, beginning at the
eldest,even unto the last: and
“Jesus
was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. When Jesus had
lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her,
Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee?
She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn
thee: go, and sin no more.” John 8:3-11
It is
interesting Jesus does not define the sin. Many might assume the sin
is adultery.
“But
their scribes and Pharisees murmured against his disciples, saying,
Why do ye eat and drink with publicans and sinners? And Jesus
answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician;
but they that are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners
to repentance.” Luke 5:30-32
Was
Jesus calling the scribes and pharisees righteous? Do we assume it
was the harlots and publicans that were living in sin. Who is being
called to repentance? Here's what our Lord has to say to the scribes
and Pharisees:
“Then
spake Jesus to the multitude, and to his disciples, Saying, The
scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat: All therefore
whatsoever they bid you observe, that observe and do; but do not ye
after their works: for they say, and do not. For they bind heavy
burdens and grievous to be borne, and lay them on men’s shoulders;
but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers.
“But
all their works they do for to be seen of men: they make broad their
phylacteries, and enlarge the borders of their garments, And love the
uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues, And
greetings in the markets, and to be called of men, Rabbi, Rabbi. But
be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master, even Christ; and all
ye are brethren. And call no man your father upon the earth: for one
is your Father, which is in heaven. Neither be ye called masters: for
one is your Master, even Christ. But he that is greatest among you
shall be your servant. And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be
abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.
“But
woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye shut up the
kingdom of heaven against men: for ye neither go in yourselves,
neither suffer ye them that are entering to go in. Woe unto you,
scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye devour widows’ houses,
and for a pretence make long prayer: therefore ye shall receive the
greater damnation. Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!
for ye compass sea and land to make one proselyte, and when he is
made, ye make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves.
“Woe
unto you, ye blind guides, which say, Whosoever shall swear by the
temple, it is nothing; but whosoever shall swear by the gold of the
temple, he is a debtor!Ye fools and blind: for whether is greater,
the gold, or the temple that sanctifieth the gold? And, Whosoever
shall swear by the altar, it is nothing; but whosoever sweareth by
the gift that is upon it, he is guilty. Ye fools and blind: for
whether is greater, the gift, or the altar that sanctifieth the gift?
Whoso therefore shall swear by the altar, sweareth by it, and by all
things thereon. And whoso shall swear by the temple, sweareth by it,
and by him that dwelleth therein. And he that shall swear by heaven,
sweareth by the throne of God, and by him that sitteth thereon.
“Woe
unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint
and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the
law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not
to leave the other undone. Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat,
and swallow a camel.
“Woe
unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye make clean the
outside of the cup and of the platter, but within they are full of
extortion and excess. Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which
is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean
also. Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are
like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward,
but are within full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanness.
Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye
are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.
“Woe
unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! because ye build the
tombs of the prophets, and garnish the sepulchres of the righteous,
And say, If we had been in the days of our fathers, we would not have
been partakers with them in the blood of the prophets. Wherefore ye
be witnesses unto yourselves, that ye are the children of them which
killed the prophets. Fill ye up then the measure of your fathers. Ye
serpents, ye generation of vipers, how can ye escape the damnation of
hell?
“Wherefore,
behold, I send unto you prophets, and wise men, and scribes: and some
of them ye shall kill and crucify; and some of them shall ye scourge
in your synagogues, and persecute them from city to city: That upon
you may come all the righteous blood shed upon the earth, from the
blood of righteous Abel unto the blood of Zacharias son of Barachias,
whom ye slew between the temple and the altar.36
“Verily
I say unto you, All these things shall come upon this generation. O
Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest
them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy
children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her
wings, and ye would not! Behold, your house is left unto you
desolate. For I say unto you, Ye shall not see me henceforth, till ye
shall say, Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord.”
Matthew 23:1-39
Does
the Lord have any such words for those who struggle in their weakness
but don't point the accusing finger at others?
“But
what think ye? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first,
and said, Son, go work to day in my vineyard. He answered and said, I
will not: but afterward he repented, and went.
“And
he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I
go, sir: and went not. Whether of them twain did the will of his
father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I
say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom
of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of
righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the
harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not
afterward, that ye might believe him.” Matthew 21:28-32
Why do
the publicans and harlots enter the kingdom of God before scribes and
Pharisees? Look at the difference between the Pharisee and the
publican:
“And
shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him,
though he bear long with them? I tell you that he will avenge them
speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find
faith on the earth? And he spake this parable unto certain which
trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others:
“Two
men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the
other a publican. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself,
God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortioners,
unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. I fast twice in the
week, I give tithes of all that I possess.
“And
the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his
eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful
to me a sinner. I tell you, this man went down to his house justified
rather than the other: for every one that exalteth himself shall be
abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.” Luke
18:7-14
What
brings peace and joy? Is it our adherence to rules and commandments?
Or is it love for God, others, and self?
“Though
I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity,
I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. And though I
have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all
knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove
mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. And though I bestow
all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be
burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.” 1
Corithians 13:1-3
I am
reminded of a parable.
The
Great Competition
There
was a King who loved his people. He also loved the competition of
games. He called his advisory council together and asked them how he
might improve the health and vigor of his people. They considered
the matter and decided upon a great plan.
The
King called his city together and told them of a great competition he
and his council had devised. “All the city would compete,” he
announced. They would proceed in turns to go into the coliseum and
compete on the field. Al were welcome to watch before or after they
participated. But all would have to compete. The competition would
test the citizen's loyalty, while also improving the lives of the
citizens.
“I
haven't the strength to compete. I am old and past my day and cannot
hope to win in competition with younger men,” said one.
The
King responded, “Not all the competition will be of strength, some
will be of intellect, some of patience, some of music. It will
develop the skill of each individual from my kingdom and will improve
every citizen.”
“I
refuse,” said the one. He and those who agreed with him departed in
anger.
The
day arrived and the competition began. Men, women and children all
entered in turns into to coliseum. Some sang, some threw spears,
some lifted heavy weights, and some recited poetic works of beauty
and wisdom. The people not competing at any given time would watch
from the seats. They gained as much from watching as they did
competing.
Many
were reluctant or afraid entering the competition, but found when
they competed their fears were unfounded. Some believed it would be
fun to compete. However upon entering the competition failed to do
as they hoped, and regretted their poor efforts.
After
the days of the competition ended, a great feast was called. For the
feast, the King invited not only those citizens who participated in
the games, but also those who had fled the city rather than
participate. Those who had remained loyal and participated in the
games were troubled by this.
“Why
are those who rejected your plan allowed to be among us?” they
inquired.
“For
a wise purpose,” said the King.
Many
of those who participated resented the presence of those who had
fled. Some who fled returned in anger, urging those who stayed to
join them in their anger at the King. Some who did not do well were
persuaded by the arguments of the returning dissidents.
The
great feast turned into a great argument among the residents who
stayed and those who had fled. Eventually the people divided
themselves into two groups. In one, the King was beloved and his
plan was held in esteem. In the other, the King was resented, or
worse, hated. They found fault with the King, with his plan, and
with the uproar caused among the citizens by the King's great folly.
When
the body was divided, the King addressed them all with these words,
“I have been working for some time to determine who I can trust
among our people and who I cannot trust. Using wise counsel I have
adopted this great plan to decide the matter.
“I
knew when the competition was devised it would divide the people. I
knew, too, that some would flee rather than participate. I also knew
if I invited back to a feast all of he citizens, both those who
stayed and those who fled, that it would result in a great division.
This was my purpose all along.
“We
are faced with many challenges. Some are in forms which you do not
understand. They will test all of us. I must know before we confront
the coming challenges who I can trust to remain loyal in my kingdom.
Today I know.
“All
those who have been loyal have been identified. They will remain in
my kingdom. All those who have rejected my plan, or spoken against
me in hatred, will be removed from my kingdom. Those who leave are
free to follow their own course. However, they cannot be among my
people any longer, for they have been tested and failed in their
loyalty.”
It
required a battle to remove those who were to be exiled. Many argued
they had endured all the King had asked and only spoken ill of him
when the disaffected exiles returned. They claimed it was unfair to
have been put through this final test of loyalty after allowing the
return of the exiles. They argued a feast that included those who
refused the King's request was unfair. It rewarded all alike; the
loyal and the disloyal. They claimed their final disloyalty came
only as a result of their original loyalty later proving to be of no
value, since even the exiles came to the final feast.
Others
complained that the King was mad. His whole course was destructive of
a people who had once lived in harmony and peace. They claimed it was
the King who should be thrown in exile; not the citizens who were
discomforted by the King disturbing their peace.
Still
others complained the King was never honest with them. Had they known
this was to be the result, they would have been loyal throughout.
They thought it unfair he kept his counsel to himself and thereby
lulled them into disfavor.
Yet
others complained the King gave them too hard a test. It was unfair.
Although they had passed the test, they had family members and
friends who failed and if these whom they loved had failed they would
refuse for their loved ones' sake to remain with the King.
Some
even said that the original test was supposed to improve the
citizen's “health and vigor” and not their loyalty. It was unfair
to claim to test for one virtue when actually testing for another.
And
finally, some claimed there could be no future test coming for which
this test of the citizens would prepare; that the only thing this
great plan tested was the patience of the citizens. If there is some
great future test coming, then the King ought, in fairness, to share
that information with them rather than to hide it and make claims
which cannot be proven.
All
the arguments were unavailing. The King expelled them all. When the
kingdom was set, and none but the loyal remained, the King again
called a great assembly of his people. To all those who remained the
King announced, “I discovered long ago the power to make my kingdom
last forever. I am now prepared to share the secrets of all I know
with my people. From this day forward you will no longer be citizens
in my kingdom, but you will be kings and queens, sharing with me in
life which will never end.
“Before
making you all kings and queens with me, I needed to have a people
who would live in peace together. Immortality without peace among us
would be a great punishment and not a great prize.
“All
of us who remain in this kingdom have lost friends, family members
and others whom we love. However, all who remain will be able to live
in peace, forever.”
The
King did as he planned from the beginning, He and his counselors were
able to find those who could live in peace, and for whom life would
endure in peace forever.
There
is not now, and never has been, a kingdom more stable, more happy,
more at peace, and more enduring than this King's. Though he ceased
to reign as a king, he continued to be loved above all others. For he
was the one who brought to life the happiest people of all. Chapter
9, Ten Parables
What
did the citizens think was being tested? What was actually being
tested? Was the test how well the citizens performed or was it the
love they had for the King and each other? What brings peace and
happiness?
Born
in weakness raised in strength. In this life we are sown and grown in
our weakness. This is all designed to make us strong.
“So
also is the resurrection of the dead. It is sown incorruption; it is
raised in incorruption: It is sown in dishonour; it is raised in
glory: it is sown in weakness; it is raised in power: It is sown a
natural body; it is raised a spiritual body. There is a natural body,
and there is a spiritual body.” 1 Corinthians 15:42-44
It was
the thoughts of weakness, grace, charity, and love that occupied
Joseph Smith's attention as he went to Carthage.
“When
Joseph went to Carthage to deliver himself up to the pretended
requirements of the law, two or three days previous to his
assassination, he said: “I am going like a lamb to the slaughter;
but I am calm as a summer’s morning; I have a conscience void of
offense towards God, and towards all men. I shall die innocent, and
it shall yet be said of me—he was murdered in cold blood.”—The
same morning, after Hyrum had made ready to go—shall it be said to
the slaughter? yes, for so it was—he read the following paragraph,
near the close of the twelfth chapter of Ether, in the Book of
Mormon, and turned down the leaf upon it:
“And
it came to pass that I prayed unto the Lord that he would give unto
the Gentiles grace, that they might have charity. And it came to pass
that the Lord said unto me: If they have not charity it mattereth not
unto thee, thou hast been faithful; wherefore thy garments shall be
made clean. And because thou hast seen thy weakness, thou shalt be
made strong, even unto the sitting down in the place which I have
prepared in the mansions of my Father. And now I … bid farewell
unto the Gentiles; yea, and also unto my brethren whom I love, until
we shall meet before the judgment-seat of Christ, where all men shall
know that my garments are not spotted with your blood. The testators
are now dead, and their testament is in force. D&C 135:4-5
Our
Lord overcame through patience and love.
The
prophet Alma taught and understood our Lord’s sufferings as he
wrote:
“And
he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of
every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he
will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he
will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which
bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that
his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he
may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to
their infirmities.” (Alma 7: 11–12.)
He
can bring peace to any soul. He can help those who will come to Him
love their fellow man. He alone is the Perfect Teacher because He
alone has the knowledge each of us lack to return to being whole and
at peace with the God and Father of us all after our transgression of
His will. He is wise to what is required for each man’s salvation.
. .
Christ
taught His followers to forgive, that they may in turn merit
forgiveness. He said: “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your
heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men
their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
(Matt. 6: 14–15.) He taught this because of the atoning power of
forgiving others. As a result of the things He suffered, He
understood that men must forgive others in order to be able to obtain
forgiveness. There are many things men do that they lack the capacity
to make amends. The price they must pay for their own transgressions
are paid by forgiving all others of their offenses. . .
To
enter into the kingdom of heaven, all men must lay down their sins.
But this they cannot do when they claim the right to restitution for
any offense from their brother. All claims must be set aside, the
greater and more difficult being the righteous claim against another
for their deliberate offense. Yet in asking for justice for yourself,
you always require justice be answered in turn for all of your
offenses A man will not be given mercy if he is not merciful. Alma
taught this plainly to his son, Corianton, so he might be redeemed.
Mormon preserved this teaching that all men who read the Book of
Mormon may be redeemed and have claim on mercy: . . .
Do
not depart this life while still harboring resentment against any
person. It does not matter how just the claim may be, we must
surrender our claims for justice to merit mercy. Find a way to
forgive all those who transgress against you before leaving mortality
and, by showing mercy to them, you will find mercy for yourself. As
Joseph Smith put it:
I
charged the Saints not to follow the example of the adversary in
accusing the brethren, and said, “If you do not accuse each other,
God will not accuse you. If you have no accuser you will enter
heaven, and if you will follow the revelations and instructions which
God gives you through me, I will take you into heaven as my back
load. If you will not accuse me, I will not accuse you. If you will
throw a cloak of charity over my sins, I will over yours-for charity
covereth a multitude of sins.” (TPJS p. 193.)
This
path to knowing God’s goodness has been made known to every people
in every generation. It can be felt whenever any man has shown mercy
to his fellowman. Christ taught this, but the light of Christ leads
all those who seek wisdom to find this truth. God is no respecter of
persons. Blessed are the merciful, for they will always obtain mercy.
More blessed are those who love, for God is love. Excerpts from
Chapter 12 of Come, Let Us Adore Him
Forgive
and love, then forgive again and increase in love. When I see my
weakness as a gift, I can forgive and love myself with all my falling
and tripping. When I see others with their gift of weakness, it
becomes natural and instinctive to forgive and love them. Sometimes
our weaknesses intercept and collide. At these distressing times, we
are given another opportunity to grow and develop and increase in
love.
I
thank a loving God for teaching me these things and bringing peace to
my soul.
