Turn the Light on the Table

• This song is dedicated to our close friend who has walked a rough road these past two years as he has become the target of numerous false accusations. Rumor and gossip can spread like wildfire, even among those who claim to be God’s people. We have watched, up close, as this painful trial has refined and purified his soul. He has been a dear friend for over a decade, but through this journey he has become truly precious to us.

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• This song comes from a place of reflection and hope that truth will ultimately triumph. Real strength often looks like humility, patience, and integrity when everything around you feels uncertain.

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• We love you, Louie.

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Gossip vs. Transparency

 Most people need a listening ear as they work through the struggles of life.

Sometimes, being with your best friend is all the therapy you need.  - unknown

You might need someone to talk to about your dilemmas. And those conversations will often include your interactions with those who trouble you. Choose your friends wisely. 

A true friend accepts who you are, but also helps you become who you should be.  - unknown

Is your friend someone who helps you improve and progress? Do they help you see and correct your errors? Or does this “friend” help vilify and “horribilize” those with whom you clash? 

Seek out friends who help you see your part, discover what you can do, understand how you can respond, and help you keep your peace. 

If you need to process your thoughts and feelings by talking to a friend, avoid those who gossip.

Those who gossip with you will gossip about you. - Edgar Allan Poe

A friendship built on gossip will end on gossip. - Our Mindful Life

Gossip dies when it hits a wise person’s ears. - unknown

How do we create an atmosphere where gossip is not welcome or comfortable? What if those who speak to us about others, know we are going to follow up and let the other person know what was said about them? Would they be less likely to share gossip again? Would they be more likely to talk to the person directly? Or would they just find someone else who makes it comfortable to gossip?

Don’t tell me what was said about me . . . Tell me why they were so comfortable to say it to you. - Jay-Z

What happens when we investigate claims made about others by seeking to understand the other side of the story? Is it wise to ask questions and get answers from all involved? 

A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talked to each other instead of talking about each other. - Tiny Buddha

I know this will seem a bit crazy, but if you want to know something about me, the best person to ask is me. - James America

Those who are sincere will not be offended when the situation is laid out on the table for those involved to see, even if it becomes apparent they are wrong in their understanding. With gratitude, they will welcome the reconciliation that comes as a result of direct communication. 

On the other hand, those who are in the habit of gossiping are offended when others seek to verify their words. Those who seek to malign and slander others hate this kind of transparency. 

          

Make it a habit of shutting down conversations that aim to tear others down. - unknown

Forgiveness and Friendship

I’ve saved very few things from my childhood. I have one letter that’s about 35 years old.  My children were cleaning out a closet the other day and found it.  

When I was little, I had a very best friend who lived next door. We were born on the same day just one year apart. She was older than me.  We did everything together.  She would come over and help me with my morning work in the summer so we could play the rest of the day. We swam in her pool, played baseball, went to the park, tromped through the small forest behind our homes, flew kites, roller skated, rode bikes, and a hundred other things. 

We lived in Downers Grove, Illinois. She went to the Methodist Church with her family, and I went to the Mormon Church with my family.  Sometimes we would go to church together. 

We are both the sixth out of seven children in our families. We both also have a younger brother, and they are the same age.  One day our little brothers got in an argument about something.  I don’t remember what the argument was about, but I do remember we got involved to defend our brothers. 

Normally, when we had a clash, we’d be playing together again the same day. This fight was different.  I don’t know who was at fault.  Most likely we both had something to do with it. We both held a grudge for quite a while.  I don’t remember how long.  It might have been a couple of weeks, a month, three months, or even six months.  It felt like forever.  I was no longer on speaking terms with my best friend and was lonely.  She felt the same way, and decided to do something about it.  She sent me a large manila envelop in the mail. Here is a scanned copy of the letter:

To a good friend who is a great player who has good sportsmanship And a terrific partner for a team. Jenny.

To a good friend whose a good person to talk to anytime. Jenny.

Who is good at most anything

Who is a laugh when she sleeps over

And cheers me up ­ when I’m feeling down 

To a person who is smart and one of the most politest person around. Jenny.

To a person who tries to help as much as she can. Jenny.

To a kid who has a smile that would warm your heart! Jenny.

When we look at each other on this upside down – we will begin to laugh and can’t stop. Jenny

To a good friend who I’m trying to say I’m sorry. Mona  . . . Friends

I still remember the feelings I had when I received this letter.  I ran to my friend, and hearts were healed.  We never fought like that again.  Children have a great capacity to make amends and forgive. If only we could be a child again.

Jesus Christ tells us to repent and become as little child Matthew 18:3. We would be happier to be more like Mona, let go of our pride, and reach out to those we really do love.  Yes, we might have clashes and disagreements, but the little child within really only wants to love and be loved.  

Friends, Food, Vibrations, and Tie-Dye Shirts

We had some wonderful friends come to our home last week. We all enjoyed a couple days full of fun, learning, and love. To top it off, they brought delicious food and planned special activities for the family.

During school, they taught us about light and vibrations. "And the light which shineth, which giveth you light, is through him who enlighteneth your eyes, which is the same light that quickeneth your understanding; Which light proceedeth forth from the presence of God to fill the immensity of space— The light which is in all things, which giveth life to all things, which is the law by which all things are governed, even the power of God who sitteth upon his throne, who is in the bosom of eternity, who is in the midst of all things." D&C 88:11-13

After the learning about the physics of light and vibrations, we had a super activity making tie-dye shirts. The children thoroughly enjoyed the activity and acquired a brand new, homemade, personally designed, tie-dye shirt.

Let's Do Tie Dye!

1. Smooth a section of the shirt over your plastic cup. You can secure it with a rubber band if you want.
2. Dot a Sharpie to form a circle in the center of the area formed by the cup. You are aiming for a dotted ring about 1" in diameter. You can use more than one color.
3. Drip rubbing alcohol on the blank center of the circle. I used the extremely low-tech method of dipping a pencil in the alcohol and dotting it on the shirt. After a few drops, you will see the alcohol spread outward from the center of the ring, taking the Sharpie ink with it.
4. Continue adding drops of alcohol until you are satisfied with the size of the pattern.
5. Allow a couple of minutes for the alcohol to evaporate before moving on to a clean section of the shirt.
6. It doesn't have to be a circle. You can make stars, triangles, squares, lines... be creative!
7. After your shirt is completely dry (alcohol is flammable, so don't use heat on a damp shirt), set the colors by tumbling the shirt in a hot clothes dryer for ~15 minutes.
8. You can wear and wash your new shirt like other clothes now.

How It Works

The ink in a Sharpie pen dissolves in alcohol but not in water. As the shirt absorbs the alcohol, the alcohol picks up the ink. You can get new colors when different colors of ink mix together. The wet ink will diffuse, or move from areas of higher concentration to lower concentration. When the alcohol evaporates, the ink dries. Sharpie pen ink doesn't dissolve in water, so the shirt can be washed.

What a joyful time together, learning and playing by day, and conversing and sharing by night. We stayed up almost all night talking, and it was well worth it. We are thankful for dear friends. We hope they always feel welcome in our home.

All Saints – My Christian Friends

While going to school at Utah State, my daughter met some Christian missionaries on campus. She noticed that many people just passed them by, some even made snide remarks, but she wanted to talk with them. She liked what she found. She said, “They have light in their eyes.”

She inquired if they have a place where they meet for church, and they invited her to come. She asked me to go with her. I was excited to meet her new friends.

We really enjoyed their meeting. I came home feeling so happy inside. My spirit had been nourished, and I felt good. I just couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. I felt the Spirit of the Lord in the meeting. There are many things that contributed to the wonderful spirit. Here are a few of the things I noticed:

No one was put above another. I could feel the equality. There wasn’t any status associated with being the leader or the teacher. In fact, during the prayer, someone prayed that the teacher wouldn’t get in the way of the message he had to deliver. I felt his genuine humility as he taught us from the Bible. The majority of the lesson came from the Gospel of Saint Matthew, but he used the entire Bible to teach different principles.

My children noticed that he didn’t use a manual. The lesson came straight from the Bible. They liked that part. Children love to be taught the word of God, pure and undiluted. They were interested in what was being taught and no one was bored. I took notes just as fast as I could write. Scripture references were given for almost every point that was made. I wanted to have it all in writing so I could come home and reread and ponder the quoted scriptures. I also wanted to share what I learned with the rest of my family.

There are so many new things to discover about the scriptures. For example: I didn’t know that Jesus was quoting scripture when he was confronted by the Devil in the wilderness. Matthew 4:7 is an extract of what is given in Deuteronomy 6:16. The Jews would have been expected to know the rest of the selection when Jesus quoted part of the scripture. Even though Jesus was the one who gave us the Old Testament, he used scripture to teach the people.

I love the music. All of the songs praise Jesus. We stand up to sing, and everyone sings with all their heart. My children said, “We’re not embarrassed to sing because everyone is singing loud.” The songs aren’t about us; they’re about Jesus. On my first Sunday, I started to sit down after singing one song. Then I realized we weren’t done. We kept singing and singing. I don’t think anyone can praise Jesus song after song and not feel an abundance of joy.

I like the way they pray. We’ve incorporated the things we’ve learned into our family prayers. We wrote a post on this: A New Pattern of Prayer.

I’ve attended several churches and still have many more to visit. One characteristic that that is unique to this group of saints is their ability to keep focused on the word of God without condemning others. I don’t see the arrogance that is often present when some people try to prove that their belief in Christ is superior to another’s belief in Christ.

Thank you again for your kindness to our family. We’ve enjoyed your friendship.