I Am the Asshole in the Story

Most have a story to explain the events and circumstances in their life. Let me tell you the story of one sleepy-eyed traveler. [based on a true story]

It had been a long 48 hour day. Taxi cabs, trains, and now the airport. Thoughts raced through her mind as she listened to the boarding gate agent, “What? Airplane delayed again . . . for how many hours? . . . " She had been away from home too long, and was all too anxious to be safe at home.

She was dazed as she talked to the agent and knew she needed to concentrate to keep her wits about her. Her purse was slung safely over her shoulder, and she tucked her travel bag between her and the counter she leaned against. She didn’t want to lose track of the few essentials she still had. 

The agent was kind and helped her book another flight to replace the one she would miss because of the delay. She walked to the kiosk and took the opportunity to sign in early for the flight. There was a little time before boarding the plane, so she sat down and tried to get some rest. 

She reached down to put her hand on her bag, keeping it from walking off while she slept. It was gone! She’d been so careful to keep track of it, and now it was gone. Adrenaline kicked in as she looked around. In a panic, she frantically searched for her bag. As she scurried about, she thought, “Why would someone just take my bag with all the security cameras watching every move of every passenger?” 

She reported her loss to the security guard, and he seemed sympathetic to her predicament. He even helped her assess the situation, and together they determined that one of those asshole foreign tourists must have taken her bag. She carefully retraced her steps searching the area. The security guard even allowed her to leave the secured area to check the shuttle buses that were full of foreign tourists. 

The bag wasn’t impressive, but it contained the essentials she needed. She went back to her seat, cursing her stupidity and the unknown foreign tourist. She prayed and mourned as she sat in mental anguish waiting for her flight. Heroically she forgave her enemy and thanked God for her passport, cash, and credit card that were safe in the small purse she held at her side. Her favorite jacket and other essentials could be replaced. 

Finally, it was time to board the plane. As she walked with other passengers toward the gate, she walked by the check-in kiosk. She couldn’t believe her eyes. Sitting on a little bench between the wall and kiosk was her precious lost bag. It was right where she left it. No one had touched the bag during her panic-filled hour. There was no thieving, asshole, foreign tourist; just a tired, absent-minded woman who forgot where she left her bag. 

None of it was real. She felt like an idiot. All that fuss for nothing. She looked around, and no one seemed to notice her stupid blunder. No harm was done to anyone. As she sat back to consider the experience, she thought, “How many times have I convinced myself I am right when I am plainly wrong?”

People often make up stories to explain what’s happening in their life. We’ve all done it. The stories we tell ourselves may be true, but most often they are false. Our stories usually turn us into the good guy or the undeserving victim and make someone else the villain. Our opponent might also have a story to tell. It would be rare if these stories ever sounded like the same event. When we are disturbed by the events in our life, it is tempting to expand our audience by telling our stories to others. When we do, we feel better, and our story becomes more real. We feel validated. Like the sympathetic security guard, other people might even help us create a more convincing story. 

What would happen if we questioned our stories, noticed when we justify our actions, and paid attention to our defensiveness? What if these are actually signs indicating we are somehow wrong? What if an alarm was set to go off in our mind . . . ding! ding! ding!? I see I am defensive, I am justifying, I am making up stories, therefore, I might be wrong.

 

If we were to make ourselves look like the asshole in our defensive self-justifying stories, we would probably be closer to seeing the truth and could do something about it. 

I looked at a story I’ve been telling myself for over a decade. I blamed others, I blamed my state of mind, I blamed my circumstance. I had such a great story that I believed it myself. Well, I almost believed it. Then one day last week while I was at peace with myself, on a walk with my dogs, in an open meadow, I looked at my old story from a different perspective. When I could see clearly, I could only say, “I was wrong.” I don’t know what I can do to change the past, but there are no excuses. I asked the Lord to forgive me. I don’t ever have to tell that self-justifying story again, and if I do, it will be from the perspective, "I am the asshole in the story." 

The Problem is Not Out There

If your heart is not at peace, something is wrong inside of you. These words are not to rebuke or judge but to show where peace is found and how to obtain it. The natural tendency is to find something or someone to blame for our pain. But if we truly want to be healed, we will stop blaming and projecting our problems onto others. 

When we touch a hot stove top, the burning pain is there to warn us. It tells us to move our hand. The same is true for our feelings and psychological pain. The pain is simply a warning sign. Something inside needs to shift, change, or move. We change our situation from the inside out. 

We all feel pain and turmoil. Pain can be very beneficial in helping us learn. Those who experience the greatest abuses and contradictions, have the greatest opportunity for growth.

When we say things like why me?  Or life isn’t fair. Remember some of the worst things happen to some of the best people. Life isn't fair because you have expectations. The key to happiness is letting go of expectations and dealing with what is in front of you. Life is tough, it is cruel at times, but there is also great capacity for happiness, even joy.

What’s the benefit of knowing pain is my great teacher? If I know I am supposed to learn from my pain, I can choose to be a good student. I can do something about it. If pain is just random suffering, then I am powerless. 

. . . though he was a son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered. Hebrews 1:12

. . . And Zion cannot be built up unless it is by the principles of the law of the Celestial Kingdom, otherwise I cannot receive her unto myself. And my people must needs be chastened until they learn obedience, if it must needs be by the things which they suffer. T&C 107: 1

Obedience to what? Jesus encourages us to be obedient to the laws of happiness. . . “Men are that they might have joy . . . “ 2 Nephi 1:10. When we are out of harmony with the laws of happiness, we experience pain. We are born into a world of pain. We all have different pain to work through. The purpose of life is to get better as soon as possible and be happy. 

We can do something about our pain. We can shift, move, and change. This is easier said than done, but totally in our control. Jesus has all power to lead us through the healing process if we will only ask for His help and follow His counsel. 

Healing starts with forgiving ourselves. We can’t do anything about the past except learn from it, and sometimes we can reconcile our mistakes with others. Don’t spend much time fretting about the past. Put your behind in your past. 

We also get to forgive others. Forgiveness has little to do with the other person. To withhold forgiveness only damages us. When we recognize we are all in a learning process, it makes it easier to give up a grudge. Being angry is a waste of time and energy.  A heart at peace is so much more desirable. 

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you — not as the world gives, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. “ John 9:9

The Lord’s presence brings peace and understanding. Peace is the one feeling the devil cannot imitate. If you are in turmoil, go inside and fix the problem. Call on the Lord to help guide you through the process. The problem is not out there. It is inside you, and you have power to be healed.

Is It Possible For Anyone to Disturb Our Peace?

Christ Moves the Expectation From Outward Conduct Into the Inner Soul

In 3 Nephi 5–7, Christ elevates the Law of Moses by raising the expectation for human conduct. He moves from mere outward conduct into the inner soul of the man. One is not doing as he should if all he does is refrain from killing. Instead, he needs to remove anger. The prior obligation (“said by them of old”) focused only on one’s conduct; now the focus is one’s motivation. 

The Battleground Is Inside Our Heart

One can judge another based on conduct. They either do or do not do something. The conduct is observable and, therefore, capable of being judged. Now, however, Christ moves the battleground inside a person. It is now in the heart. On such terrain as that, man is incapable of knowing and, therefore, of judging.

It is Necessary to Know and Understand the Rule

With anything involving truth and rules of conduct, there are always some reasons to depart from the rule. Christ departed from this rule. First, however, it is necessary to know and understand the rule. The “judgment” which one is “in danger of” by being angry with one’s brother is not the brother’s anger, but God’s. 

If Anger is Prevented in the Heart, It Can Heal Society

The judgment of God is provoked by those who are angry with their brother. One is not to be angry with his brother because that is the beginning of a whole sequence of events, the culmination of which may be killing. Anger leads to abuse. It leads to discourtesy, dishonesty, and cheating. It justifies miserable conduct because man thinks it right to give offense to another. It corrodes relationships and makes society sick. If this can be prevented in the heart, it can heal society. 

The Sermon on the Mount is Designed to Change Us

All must refrain from letting offenses turn into anger, dealing with them inside the heart, showing forgiveness and compassion. The purpose of the Sermon on the Mount and the Sermon at Bountiful is not to equip man to judge others. It has no use for that. It is designed to change a person. “You need to become something different, something higher, something more holy. That will require you to reexamine your heart, your motivations, and your thoughts. It will require you to take offenses and deliberately lay them down without retaliation. 

Living in Peace With Others is the Rudimentary Beginning of Zion

When you do, you become someone who can live in peace with others. Living in peace with others is the rudimentary beginning of Zion. It will not culminate in a City set on the hilltop until there is a population worthy of dwelling in the high places, in peace, without poor among them. Christ’s sermon is not merely a description of what kind of person He is. It is a description of what kind of person will qualify to live with Him.”

Judge Others the Way We Want to Be Judged

The context of judge not, that ye be not judged is framed by the statement that with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged, and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again (3 Nephi 6:5). We do “judge” one another, because we must. But the judgment should err on the side of forgiving. It should err in favor of trusting motives to be pure and intent to be good. All should be generous with their gratitude, evaluations, and suppositions. 

Forgiving One Another Makes Us Whole

When they know someone is misbehaving, they should make allowances for those shortcomings, forgive them before they ask, and impute no retribution because of the offensive conduct. “This does not make us better than another, it makes us whole. It allows the Lord to forgive us for our own, much greater offenses against Him. For when we are generous, we merit His Divine generosity. It is how we are healed. It is the means for our own salvation.

Our Offenders Enable Us to Obtain Salvation by Despitefully Using Us

Instead of thinking ourselves better than an offender, we should look upon them with gratitude, for they provide the means to obtain salvation — provided we give them forgiveness from all their offenses. This is why we should rejoice and be exceedingly glad. They enable us to obtain salvation by despitefully using us, as long as we measure them by the same standard that allows God to forgive us.

Forgiveness Will Purge From Us All Our Own Sins

What perfect symmetry: You measure to others using an instrument that will be used by God to measure back to you. So your ready forgiveness is how God will treat you. All those grudges can be replaced with petitions to God to forgive those who abused you. As you lay aside all those sins against you, committed by others, it will purge from you all your own sins. Straight and narrow indeed. But oddly appropriate and altogether within your control.”

Man is Blind . . . We See in Others what is Really in Us

The defect in judging is the position from which one proceeds. Man is blind. He has too many subjective problems in his background — training, education, culture, presumptions, prejudices, “things we just know to be true,” ignorance, preoccupations, and impatience, all which interfere with perceptions. He acts on errors and reaches wrong conclusions. He measures with defective tools, then decides the matter from the wrong measure. Christ is reminding mankind that whenever he is inclined to correct another person, more often than not, he suffers from whatever defect he sees in others. That is why he noticed it. He sees it because it is really him. 

Why Does This Bother Me? Am I Really Seeing Myself in a Mirror?

He is sensitive to the problem because he owns the problem. “First, whenever we see something amiss in another, start with the realization that we are seeing ourselves. Start inside. Ask, ‘Why does this bother me? Am I really seeing myself in a mirror?’ Then be grateful you saw another person display your problem. 

Forgive Them, Fix Me

You now know what is wrong with you. Forgive them, fix you. The tendency to withhold patience is more often than not because their mote excites your notice through your own beam. A mote is a speck, a bit of sawdust. A beam is a board. Yours is the greater defect. For in you is not only the defect, but the tendency to judge others harshly. Both are wrong. 

After Struggling to Overcome,  We May Be Humble Enough to Assist Another

When you have at last purged the defect, struggled to overcome and conquer the temptation or tendency, perhaps the price you pay to do so will make you humble enough to assist another. Not from the position as judge and condemner, but from the position of one who can help. When you ‘see clearly,’ then you may be able to cast the mote out of thy brother’s eye. For now you see him as your brother. And in a kindly and affectionate manner you may act to reclaim him. Not as a judge, but as a brother. 

 The Only Way I Can Make Them Better is by Starting Inside Me

This is a continuing petition to make things better. But the only way you make them better is by starting inside. It is not for you to work on others, nor move outside your own range of defects, until you have first fixed what you lack. When you can proceed with charity to assist others to overcome what you have overcome yourself, then it is appropriate to approach your brother in kindness to help. Until then, stop judging and start removing beams from yourself.” Glossary Judge/ment 

Forgive all Men … Key to Receiving Forgiveness Yourself

“And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.” (Mark 11:25-26)

“Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin. I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” (D&C 64:9-10)

“For, if ye forgive men their trespasses your heavenly Father will also forgive you; But if ye forgive not men their trespasses neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” 

(3 Nephi 13:14-15)

“This is an absolute condition. It is mandatory.

If you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive you your trespass.

You can’t be forgiven by the Father if you do not forgive others.

It can’t be done.

That grudge you harbor prevents the Father from forgiving you.

Those resentments you think are justified are keeping you from being forgiven by the Father.

Those injustices imposed upon you by others who are unthinking or cruel must be surrendered.

The early Saints were victimized by mobs in Missouri and Illinois. They wanted revenge. Brigham Young implemented a covenant to seek vengeance upon the murderers of Joseph Smith until the third and fourth generation. They did not build Zion.

The opposite of this is forgiveness. If you forgive, your Heavenly Father WILL forgive you. Offenses are opportunities for you to gain forgiveness. All you need to do is forgive them.

It is a simple, direct cause and effect. It was ordained before the world was founded, and applies universally in all ages and among all people.

The world is in Satan’s grip largely because the world seeks vengeance and refuses to forgive.

Zion, on the other hand, will be filled with those who forgive. Of course that puts an absolute limit on those who can dwell there.  …Very few indeed.” (DS 10/20/10)

How could you be forgiven by the Father if you do not forgive others?

If you are bent on trying to “get even” with someone, where does that put you?

If you fail to influence for good and encourage others by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned, what is the result?

Can anyone, who fails to forgive another, simply stroll into Zion and reside there in peace with those who are of one heart and one mind and dwell in righteousness?

At least something to consider, perhaps???

Forgiveness and Trust

 I have thought about forgiveness and what it means to forgive. Our Lord said, 

“After this manner therefore pray ye: Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, forever. Amen. For, if ye forgive men their trespasses your heavenly Father will also forgive you; But if ye forgive not men their trespasses neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

I believe forgiveness is more for the offended than the offender. When I choose to harbor ill will, resentment, and retaliation; it poisons my heart. Instead of enjoying the peace and beauty that surround me every day, my time is spent focusing on others distressing actions. I really do believe everyone is doing the best they can at any one moment. It might look kind of crazy and even criminal, but if I were in their shoes, with their intelligence, and life experience, I might be doing some of the very same things.

We are each in the process of learning and growing. I believe we will have many experiences over the eternities until we reach maturity and are like Jesus. Trust is gained over a long period of time as we gain knowledge and wisely implement that knowledge. We are gaining experience. I don't know why some learn faster than others, but it looks like everyone is learning one way or the other.

Currently I am in a place that I believe it is healthy to forgive everyone no matter what. I also believe that it is not healthy to trust everyone. Forgiveness is freely given; trust is earned. As I watch, observe, and interact with myself and others, I learn where I can trust myself, my loved ones, and those who are new in my life.

To be trusted by the Lord is one of the greatest compliments one could receive, “And again, verily I say unto you, my servant George Miller is without guile; he may be trusted because of the integrity of his heart; and for the love which he has to my testimony I, the Lord, love him.”

I believe there is always an open door with God to grow and become someone He can trust. I believe it wise to keep that same door open for others. Trust is not something that can be forced or rushed. It takes a consistent effort over a long period of time to know I can trust myself. As it is with myself, so it is with others.

As your friend I forgive you and give you the opportunity to gain trust.   

Forgiveness and Friendship

I’ve saved very few things from my childhood. I have one letter that’s about 35 years old.  My children were cleaning out a closet the other day and found it.  

When I was little, I had a very best friend who lived next door. We were born on the same day just one year apart. She was older than me.  We did everything together.  She would come over and help me with my morning work in the summer so we could play the rest of the day. We swam in her pool, played baseball, went to the park, tromped through the small forest behind our homes, flew kites, roller skated, rode bikes, and a hundred other things. 

We lived in Downers Grove, Illinois. She went to the Methodist Church with her family, and I went to the Mormon Church with my family.  Sometimes we would go to church together. 

We are both the sixth out of seven children in our families. We both also have a younger brother, and they are the same age.  One day our little brothers got in an argument about something.  I don’t remember what the argument was about, but I do remember we got involved to defend our brothers. 

Normally, when we had a clash, we’d be playing together again the same day. This fight was different.  I don’t know who was at fault.  Most likely we both had something to do with it. We both held a grudge for quite a while.  I don’t remember how long.  It might have been a couple of weeks, a month, three months, or even six months.  It felt like forever.  I was no longer on speaking terms with my best friend and was lonely.  She felt the same way, and decided to do something about it.  She sent me a large manila envelop in the mail. Here is a scanned copy of the letter:

To a good friend who is a great player who has good sportsmanship And a terrific partner for a team. Jenny.

To a good friend whose a good person to talk to anytime. Jenny.

Who is good at most anything

Who is a laugh when she sleeps over

And cheers me up ­ when I’m feeling down 

To a person who is smart and one of the most politest person around. Jenny.

To a person who tries to help as much as she can. Jenny.

To a kid who has a smile that would warm your heart! Jenny.

When we look at each other on this upside down – we will begin to laugh and can’t stop. Jenny

To a good friend who I’m trying to say I’m sorry. Mona  . . . Friends

I still remember the feelings I had when I received this letter.  I ran to my friend, and hearts were healed.  We never fought like that again.  Children have a great capacity to make amends and forgive. If only we could be a child again.

Jesus Christ tells us to repent and become as little child Matthew 18:3. We would be happier to be more like Mona, let go of our pride, and reach out to those we really do love.  Yes, we might have clashes and disagreements, but the little child within really only wants to love and be loved.  

Be Slow to Judge

From November 2007 - November 2010, my heart was in a continuous battle.  My feelings were always getting hurt, and my heart ached.  I was wounded because of the actions of some of my neighbors. I knew I needed to forgive, but my heart couldn’t figure out how to do it.

One day, I was thinking about Jesus and asked Him what I could do to come unto him.  Some thoughts started forming in my head.

In the story of the woman taken in adultery, Jesus showed me that he is slow to judge. He is the only one that has the right to judge, and he avoids it whenever possible.  He didn’t even point the finger at her accusers.  John 8:3-11 

Several scriptures went through my head:

“And now, my brethren, seeing that ye know the light by which ye may judge, which light is the light of Christ, see that ye do not judge wrongfully; for with that same judgment which ye judge ye shall also be judged.” Moroni 7:18 

“For that which ye do send out shall return unto you again, and be restored; therefore, the word restoration more fully condemneth the sinner, and justifieth him not at all.” Alma 41: 15 

“Verily, verily, I say unto you, my servants, that inasmuch as you have forgiven one another your trespasses, even so I, the Lord, forgive you.” D&C 82:1 

“Leave judgment alone with me, for it is mine and I will repay. Peace be with you; my blessings continue with you.” D&C 82:23 

“Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:” Luke 6:37 

“And blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.” 3 Nephi 12:7 

“And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. Use hospitality one to another without grudging.” 1 Peter 4:8-9 

Next, I saw myself standing before the Lord at the judgment bar.  Christ was looking at his hand as if he were reading it and said, “Okay, let’s see how you want me to judge you. Let’s look at how you judged others.”

I hadn’t expected this. It was then that I realized I had created my own measuring rod. The mercy I had shown to others would be shown to me. My judgments would come back to judge me. Christ could only be as kind to me as I had been to others.  We are all judged by the same law but not according to the same criteria. We set the terms of our judgment when we judge others.

God wasn’t judging me on how well I kept the rules. My capacity to love and forgive was being weighed in the balance. I remembered the two great commandments.

“Master, which is the great commandment in the law? Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.” Matthew 22:36-40 

I realized that God isn’t going to judge me with this giant checklist of dos and don’ts.  I came to earth to learn how to love.

As this recognition filled my soul, I didn’t want him to go any further. I fell down on my knees and begged for mercy saying, “Oh, please Lord don’t judge me like I’ve judged others.” Love and forgiveness came flooding into my heart. I could see that I could open the door for the Savior to be merciful to me if I was merciful to others. My aching and unforgiving heart was healed.  I was being given a second chance. 

After that, I knew I didn’t want to judge, but I found myself judging many times a day. I didn’t realize I had such a big problem. If I stopped judging, I might not have very much to think about.

I prayed for help. The Lord gave me the antidote.

“Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?

And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?

Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” Matthew 5:43-48 

This life affords me many opportunities to practice the principle of mercy and love. People are constantly acting like humans. Daily I find myself falling short, and it’s easy to see the mistakes of others. 

It is natural to feel affection for loveable people, but I continue to struggle because of the other type of people. This last group gives me much opportunity to grow and progress.  Even though it doesn’t feel like it, they really are the bigger blessing. They give me a greater opportunity to practice love. After all, isn’t that why I’m here?

Forgiveness, the Healing Balm of Gilead

I know I have sinned and have inflicted pain upon others, even though it is not my intention to cause harm, I continue to come short of the glory of God. I have also felt the heartache that comes when others have sinned against me. “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23
 

What do we do with the pain that comes upon us by the deliberate or unintentional acts of others? Forgive:)

Here are few reasons we might chose to forgive: 

God requires us to forgive. “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” D&C 64:10

We want to be forgiven, so we also forgive. “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” Matthew 6:14-15 And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses. Mark 11:25

We desire to love and bless others. “And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:32 “But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven. . .” Matt 5:44-45

We want the Lord to stand between the enemy and us and fight our battles. “For behold, I do not require at their hands to fight the battles of Zion; for, as I said in a former commandment, even so will I fulfil—I will fight your battles.” D&C 105:14 “Be strong and courageous, be not afraid nor dismayed for the king of Assyria, nor for all the multitude that is with him: for there be more with us than with him: With him is an arm of flesh; but with us is the Lord our God to help us, and to fight our battles. And the people rested themselves upon the words of Hezekiah king of Judah.” 2 Chronicles 32:7-8

Our hearts are healed, and we receive peace. “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27 “And after their temptations, and much tribulation, behold, I, the Lord, will feel after them, and if they harden not their hearts, and stiffen not their necks against me, they shall be converted, and I will heal them.” D&C 112:13 “The Lord will give strength unto his people; the Lord will bless his people with peace.” Psalms 29:11

The serpents of life will come, and we will all be bitten at one time or another. Many people are bitten on a continual basis. We are free to choose our response. Chasing after the snake will only drive the venom to our hearts. The result is death. The other option is to look to the one on the cross, be healed, and live. The choice is ours.

“And the Lord sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died. Therefore the people came to Moses, and said, We have sinned, for we have spoken against the Lord, and against thee; pray unto the Lord, that he take away the serpents from us. And Moses prayed for the people. And the Lord said unto Moses, Make thee a fiery serpent, and set it upon a pole: and it shall come to pass, that every one that is bitten, when he looketh upon it, shall live. And Moses made a serpent of brass, and put it upon a pole, and it came to pass, that if a serpent had bitten any man, when he beheld the serpent of brass, he lived.” Numbers 21:6-9

Forgiveness is a balm that heals wounds. Through the power of Christ, we are able to let the pain go.

Balm of Gilead An aromatic gum or spice used for healing wounds (Gen. 43:11; Jer. 8:22; 46:11; 51:8). A bush producing the resin from which the balm was made grew so plentifully in Gilead in Old Testament times that the balm came to be known as the “balm of Gilead.”

Jesus Christ suffered for my sins and for the sins of my enemies. In anger, I might despise the idea of my enemy’s sins being forgivable, but it is true. “For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him.” D&C 18:11

The bond of love grows deep between Christ and the repentant sinner. “Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little.” Luke 7:47

I have experienced and observed a phenomenon that does not make sense to our worldly ways: 

We communicate with each other by our words and thoughts. We don’t even necessarily need to be in the same room to communicate with another person (I’m not talking about texting). You’ve probably had the experience of getting a phone call just as you were about to call that same person, or you begin to say something just to hear those words coming out of the mouth of a friend. This is the kind of communication I’m talking about. 

When we are angry we send spiritual weapons to our enemies. The enemy feels the vibes and usually reacts by sending a spiritual weapon in response. This war continues and exhausts both participants' physical, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual energy. The war escalates, continues to build, and often takes on forms of physical, verbal, and monetary abuse. Both are injured, loose their peace, and are left to fight it out on their own. 

Jesus gives us an alternative if we’re open to his ways. The pain in our heart is healed through following this very wise counsel:

"Ye have heard that it hath been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also. And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain. Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away."

"Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;" Matt 5:38-44 

When you’re tired of the pain, experiment upon the word by doing something kind for your enemy. It’s even better if you can give of yourself anonymously. First of all, an anonymous gift won’t be rejected by your enemy. Secondly, heaven will reward you Matt 6:1-4.

When your enemy sends you a fiery, angry dart send back a ray of loving light. It might sound crazy, but it really works. It takes away the pain and turmoil. A forgiving heart is a heart at peace. When we forgive, we open the space for Christ to run interference. He stands between our enemy and us and provides a protective shield. Forgiveness really does heal broken and wounded hearts. It is a gift from God. 

Jesus Christ, the prince of peace, forgives sin. He loves us in spite of our sins and is willing to work with us even though we are weak. Through him we can be made strong Ether 12:27. 

BEHOLD, THE LAMB OF GOD

A lamb is very easy to kill. One account I read concerned a butcher who had been asked to slaughter a family’s Passover lamb. The butcher anticipated a routine experience, as he had slaughtered many animals. He related how after slitting the small creature’s throat, the little lamb turned and licked the blood off of the butcher’s hands. This hardened butcher deeply moved and forever changed. The tender licking of the blood from the man’s hand was a sign of unconditional love and forgiveness.