Kindly Treat One Another

“For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.” (3 Nephi 11:29)

"There’s a message up there. It was part of the gospel; it will be restored again. But right now, faith, repentance, baptism, and treating one another kindly and preparing to be the kind of people that are worthy of preservation is far more important than all of that ... What is going to happen is more affected by your repentance and your faith than anything else. And that’s really where the hard work gets done—in the hearts, in our own hearts, in our own lives, in how we treat one another." (Our Dispensation)

Ye Will Not Suffer Your Children To Fight and Quarrel One With Another

This morning we were talking about which truths we've been taught yet still don't live. The first thing that came to mind is, “There is still contention in our home.”

King Benjamin taught, “And ye will not suffer your children that they go hungry, or naked; neither will ye suffer that they transgress the laws of God, and fight and quarrel one with another, and serve the devil, who is the master of sin, or who is the evil spirit which hath been spoken of by our fathers, he being an enemy to all righteousness. But ye will teach them to walk in the ways of truth and soberness; ye will teach them to love one another, and to serve one another.” Mosiah 4:14-15

“No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;” Doctrine and Covenants 121:41 We are to be long-suffering yet not suffer our children to fight and quarrel one with another. In other words, we are not to allow our children to fight and quarrel.

To solve the contention dilemma in our home, we needed the help of our family. We gathered the children to talk about solutions. Everyone had an opportunity to share their ideas while Dad took notes. We discovered three levels of commitment in our home.

At the lowest level, children often find themselves in the middle of a fight.

At the next level, children don't like contention and walk away from arguments and disputations.

At the highest level, children look to serve each other and improve each situation.

If everyone was at level two or three, contention would be eliminated; but we still have some in our family who choose to remain at level one.

In Mosiah 4:14-15, King Benjamin made the connection between walking in the ways of truth and soberness and eliminating contention. We have noticed much contention comes as a result of lazy and idle time. These are times when children look for ways to pick and tease. When children have a sober mind and a good focus, the home environment improves. Those with a sober mind reflect and ponder upon the consequences of their actions. As light and intelligence are gained, the desire to align life with truth increases.

We talked about what to do when a fight erupts. Most of us felt that running would be a healthy solution. Running laps would remove the child from the situation and give them an opportunity to get some fresh air, cool off, burn off some steam and energy, and have time to think about a better solution to their problems. All of us feel better when we exercise. We have a lot of runners in our family who run just because it makes them feel good.

One of our sons came up with the mantra, “Until you strengthen your mind, we will strengthen your body.” lol :-)

Family life is a work in progress.

Ye Shall Not Resist Evil

The Book of Mormon shows us the pattern in the creation of Zion.

And it came to pass that the thirty and fourth year passed away, and also the thirty and fifth, and behold the disciples of Jesus had formed a church of Christ in all the lands round about. And as many as did come unto them, and did truly repent of their sins, were baptized in the name of Jesus; and they did also receive the Holy Ghost.

And it came to pass in the thirty and sixth year, the people were all converted unto the Lord, upon all the face of the land, both Nephites and Lamanites, and there were no contentions and disputations among them, and every man did deal justly one with another.

And they had all things common among them; therefore there were not rich and poor, bond and free, but they were all made free, and partakers of the heavenly gift. 4 Nephi 1:1-3

#1 They did truly repent, were baptized, and received the Holy Ghost.

#2 They were converted unto the Lord.

#3 There were no contentions and disputations.

#4 They did deal justly one with another.

#5 They had all things common.
#6 They were all made free, and partakers of the heavenly gift.

There is order in the development of people. There is essential preparation needed before God will call us Zion. In our excitement and zealousness, we are tempted to take short cuts and skip a few steps. If we were to skip to step five without successfully moving through steps one, two, three, and four, it would be disastrous. If people tried to have all things common without the necessary preparation, it would fail.

Communism also seeks to have all things common:

In political and social sciences, communism is a social, political, and economic ideology and movement whose ultimate goal is the establishment of the communist society, which is a socioeconomic order structured upon the common ownership of the means of production and the absence of social classes, money, and the state. 

Many questions come to mind about the sequence of development needed in God's people: Why do men need a proper baptism before they can be converted to the Lord? How does conversion unto the Lord prepare us to let go of our contentions and disputations? What does it mean to deal justly one with another? Can we deal justly with each other while we are still contending and disputing? Why do men need to deal justly with each other before they have all things common?

Having no contentions is mentioned in four different verses in 4 Nephi. After living without contentions and disputations, did the people discover deeper levels of having no contention among them?

And it came to pass in the thirty and sixth year, the people were all converted unto the Lord, upon all the face of the land, both Nephites and Lamanites, and there were no contentions and disputations among them, and every man did deal justly one with another. 4 Nephi 1:2

And it came to pass that there was no contention among all the people, in all the land; but there were mighty miracles wrought among the disciples of Jesus. 4 Nephi 1:13

And it came to pass that there was no contention in the land, because of the love of God which did dwell in the hearts of the people. 4 Nephi 1:15

And how blessed were they! For the Lord did bless them in all their doings; yea, even they were blessed and prospered until an hundred and ten years had passed away; and the first generation from Christ had passed away, and there was no contention in all the land.4 Nephi 1:18

I watched my children discuss color, light, and reflection of light this morning. My daughter who is an artist was explaining the following concept to a younger sibling:

An object that appears a certain color reflects the light frequency that corresponds to that color, and it absorbs all the other frequencies in the visible light spectrum. An orange absorbs all of the frequencies but orange. A banana absorbs all of the frequencies except for yellow.

I noticed it really bothered him that she would say something appears to be orange because it absorbs everything except orange. In his mind that just couldn't be right. It was obvious to him that if something was orange, it had orange in it, not every color except orange.

As I walked down to the garden, I thought about what I had just observed. It was curious to me the amount of energy he put in to resisting a concept that was new to him.

I started thinking about resistance. How does it make me feel when I'm resisting something? Is there ever a need to resist? Can I still have a difference in thought or opinion without putting up a resistance? Resistance seems to be a breeding ground for contention.

I found three scriptures that speak about resisting evil. This is what Jesus said:

But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. Matthew 5:3


But I say unto you, that ye shall not resist evil, but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also; 3 Nephi 12:39

This is what Pahoran said:

Therefore, my beloved brother, Moroni, let us resist evil, and whatsoever evil we cannot resist with our words, yea, such as rebellions and dissensions, let us resist them with our swords, that we may retain our freedom, that we may rejoice in the great privilege of our church, and in the cause of our Redeemer and our God. Alma 61:14

Which counsel should we follow? Does the Lord understand something that Pahoran doesn't? Is it necessary to resist evil? Zion will be a place of refuge for those who would rather flee than take up his sword against their neighbor.

And it shall be called the New Jerusalem, a land of peace, a city of refuge, a place of safety for the saints of the Most High God; And the glory of the Lord shall be there, and the terror of the Lord also shall be there, insomuch that the wicked will not come unto it, and it shall be called Zion. And it shall come to pass among the wicked, that every man that will not take his sword against his neighbor must needs flee unto Zion for safety. And there shall be gathered unto it out of every nation under heaven; and it shall be the only people that shall not be at war one with another. And it shall be said among the wicked: Let us not go up to battle against Zion, for the inhabitants of Zion are terrible; wherefore we cannot stand. And it shall come to pass that the righteous shall be gathered out from among all nations, and shall come to Zion, singing with songs of everlasting joy. (D&C 45:66-71)

I've asked myself many questions: When contention arises in my home, do I join the contention by seeking to control and subdue it? When someone accuses me, do I feel a need to defend myself? When someone is angry, irritable, and upset, am I offended? How do I handle injustices? Can I eliminate war by warring against evil? Do I resist evil?  

Contention is Not of Me

This morning our family had a discussion on repentance and the importance of it. We identified a few commandments and laws of God that we are aware of, but fail to obey.

Later this morning as I was pondering, I realized that I personally know at least one well-known law of God that I have carelessly rejected. In this particular case, I have ignored it, pushed it off to the side, and refused to obey God in this issue.

As a young child, I thought teasing my brothers and sister was fun and entertaining. A poke here, a push there seemed to bring some sort of satisfaction. As an adult, I’ve had the same weakness with my children.

It would begin in play, move on to teasing, and usually go too far, leaving a wake of confusion and contention. Of course, the teasing was all in fun. For some strange reason, I liked getting a reaction. I would receive a false payoff sufficient to entice me to tease again later.

My parents taught me well, and I received consequences for teasing siblings. Jennifer, my wife, counseled me to stop “stirring the pot” at home, cease such foolish behavior, and invite peace rather than contention.

Jesus taught: “For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away.” (3 Nephi 11:29-30)

In spite of being taught by good parents, encouraged by a loving wife, and commanded by God Himself, I still continued to tease. I had not sufficiently reflected about the contention I was promoting and the evil effects that I was passing on to my children. Being free from the habit and sin did not appear important enough to me to abandon it and sacrifice the tendency.

Until today, I had not yet resolved to stop, cease, quit, change, and repent by making a 180-degree turn-around, turn away from sin and face God. Now, consequences, guilt, and remorse have sufficiently pierced my soul to get my attention.

I feel a change of heart in regard to my agitating actions that promote feelings of anger and contention. I feel a hope and a desire to repent. I recognize the tremendous value in not “looking back” and never “stirring the pot” again.

It feels liberating just to think about it and to believe that my Savior is there for me. In John 14:6, Jesus taught, “I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.”

Christ is capable and willing to help me overcome both sin and death, neither of which can I do alone. He has paid the price for me, and only through Him are my sins forgiven and death overcome. Only through Him can I be redeemed from the fall and return to the presence of the Father.